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Today, my dog and I was sleeping in my bed. During the night he must have gotten sick and had vomited on my pillow. I didn't notice it til late in the morning, after I had rolled my face in it for hours. LAB

#607
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Mar 26, 2012 12:38 PM - Misc - by tamami

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Today, the owner of the company I work for hired his only son as the new daily manager. This 18 year old "man" is now responsible for a million dollar company and the 35 employees who work here. Did I mention he is semi retarded? LAB

#610
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Mar 21, 2012 11:29 AM - Work - by nogood

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My boyfriend is polish and he has been calling me 'galaretka' for a few months. I never paid much attention but a week ago I looked it up on google and found out that it means 'jelly'. LAB

#612
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Mar 15, 2012 01:43 AM - Love - by roksikmopsik

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Today, I told a friend of mine, in total confidence, my inner most secret sexual fantasies. A few hours later she posted them on facebook for everyone to see. LAB

#609
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Mar 6, 2012 11:00 AM - Misc - by Myown2

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Today, I saw my mom passionately french kiss another man other than my dad. When I confronted her with it she just said. "So what! I'm horny." LAB

#608
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Mar 5, 2012 02:19 PM - Family - by Ciman Japla

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Today, I got up from a good night sleep and went to the bathroom. There, in the middle of the bathroom floor there a fresh giant human crap. I live alone so it could only be me who left it there. Sleepwalking is a bitch. LAB

#604
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Mar 5, 2012 10:06 AM - Misc - by 56Eric 91252

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Today, I noticed that the 2000 business cards I ordered online had a misprint. Instead of printing my real name which is Larry Cuny, they had printed Larry Cunt on all of them. I've already given out 120 of them. LAB

#611
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Mar 4, 2012 01:03 PM - Work - by Cuny

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Today, I moved into a new building and soon after I got a visit from the woman living next door from me. She just came by to wish me welcome by giving me a fruit-basket packed to the rim with green fruits. The fruit was not supposed to be green, it was just in and beyond the rotting process. LAB

#605
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Mar 4, 2012 01:04 AM - Misc - by Greatstuff

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Today, my dad came to my school to pick me up. As soon as he spotted me, he pulled down the car windows, put on the stereo on and cranked up the volume to the max. The song he played was MMMBop by Hanson. He does this just to make me blush. LAB

#601
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Mar 3, 2012 02:42 AM - Family - by Sofia

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Today, my roommate told me he's been shaving his balls and a-hole for several weeks using my razor. I've been shaving my face with the same one. LAB

#606
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Mar 2, 2012 12:45 PM - Misc - by Frank delish

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Today, I got the 100th letter from my crazy ex-girlfriend where she gives her reasons to why she's still in love with me. This time it was, and I quote: "I still love you and I miss you because of the way you played with my asshole during sex". LAB

#600
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Mar 2, 2012 02:25 AM - Love - by stimi johnson

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Today, I couldn't help but to overhear my parents arguing about who's to blame for my sisters crappy school results. My mom claimed it to be my dads fault because "he's so incredibly stupid" and my dad said it's her fault for "being as smart as a 70's stoner". They could both be right. LAB

#599
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May 20, 3685 01:30 PM - Family - by aaNoob

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